SPEAKING OF SMELL

The armpit is smell-producer number one, of course. The odour of male sweat carries a range of mental associations. "Hardworking," "natural," and "ripe" are all masculine-sounding readings of what happens when bacteria sits in our armpits for a while.

For every gay guy who finds pit odour a sign of uncleanliness, there's another who loves rubbing his nose in it, leaving a trick's apartment with the man's smells still on his face. One online cruiser, who has "mansmells" in his personal profile, says, "A man's natural odours turn me on. When I stick my face into somebody's armpit, I want it to smell like sweat, not chemicals." Not every guy smells the same; individual chemistry, even diet, can affect the way a man's body smells. So some odour aficionados approach armpits with the ardour of a wine connoisseur: "Mmmm, it smells like a 2010 Fred!"

Other stinky stuff is a matter of more specialized appeal. Some guys just love the scent of unwashed crotch; it can make other men gag. Uncircumcised men might add smegma to the recipe; some foreskin fetishists can't get enough. Speaking of cheese, the bacteria on the human foot are related to bacteria involved in the production of high-smelling Roquefort. Foot fetishists, always a specialist bunch, include sock-sniffers who get horny at the whiff of a really funky foot.

But body odour's not for everyone. As another guy I ran across online said, "I like a clean-smelling body. You're going to be freshly showered if you're going to get in bed with me." A just-washed body smells subtle and fresh, and guys who jump in the tub before fucking some stud would most likely want the favour returned. One reader asked me how he could tell his steady sex partner that his crotch smell made him gag whenever he went down on him. In that situation, a polite "Please take a shower before I suck your cock" seems a not-unreasonable request. Beyond a simple wash-up with Irish Spring, there are a number of ways to alter how our bodies smell--deodorant, after-shave, cologne--but boys who sprinkle some Givenchy or Calvin Klein on their pubes before getting blown may be asking for rejection.

Whether due to biology or psychology, it's clear that the same smell can produce widely varying responses in various sex partners, from a hard-on to a wrinkled-up nose. Lighting a stick of incense can set a seductive mood. Or it can remind Mr. Right of his unpleasant ex-hippie uncle. (The parts of the brain that deal with memory and with smell are closely connected, so it's no wonder.) Some smells--a sea breeze, the scent of a pine forest--have romantic overtones which may or may not be evoked by the corresponding variety of Glade. And who knows, the odour of unwashed sheets may bring back the memory of that really hot stud in the frathouse. Or it may make you want to run screaming from the bedroom.

It is, indeed, all a matter of taste. Well, smell.

Simon Sheppard

Now here's your chance to meet the man behind this column. OutUK has an interview with Simon Sheppard or you can take a look at some of his books that are currently available:

       

Looking for something very sexy and just as smart? Man on Man collects the best and hottest gay sex writing by Simon, who is also co-editor of Rough Stuff: Tales of Gay Men, Sex, and Power as well as a collection of gay erotica called Hotter Than Hell.

In KINKORAMA : Dispatches from the Front Lines of Perversion he takes readers behind the unmarked doors and black vinyl curtains that lead to the sometimes shocking, often hilarious, relentlessly arousing scenarios of extreme sex. There are also stories of bears in Tales from the Bear Cult: Beat Bear Stories from the Best Magazines.