First Published: September 2002
This is an OutUK Archive Item and so some of the links and information may be out of date.
You yearn for more than just the odd weekend with your nephew and niece. OutUK's
Adrian Gillan explores the options, from fostering and adoption to giving a lady
your sperm.
SURROGACYFinally, you may remember the story not that many years back of Essex millionaires Tony and Barry, a tale alas too complex to recount in full here. In outline, the two men used their sperm to fertilise a lady's eggs in the US, and these embryos were subsequently implanted into the womb of another American lady to act as surrogate mother, so eventually yielding a twin boy and girl from Tony and Barry's respective sperm. Got that? That's the easy bit. Then the surrogate started to act as if she didn't want to give the babies up. But after legal wrangling on both sides of the Atlantic, the men now have their family safely back in Essex. | |
| The ethical issues are particularly complex and controversial. What must also be born in mind is that Tony and Barry only went down this hazardous route after years of trying to have a family via foster care and also via donating sperm to a lesbian here in the UK, none of which had born fruit. |
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So this was no whimsical designer family as many papers would have bid us believe.
It also involved huge dollops from Lady Luck, £100,000s and legal arguments in
both countries. Not a realistic option for many.
THE ROAD AHEADSo no one will or should pretend that there is any one way to become a gay dad, let alone - subsequently - a good gay dad. This feature hopefully raises some issues and options, asks a few questions, and may help a few guys make their first tentative steps along a long, winding and splitting road full of dead-ends towards Destination Daddy. Good luck, and do let us know how you all get on!
The best starting point on the web for any gay parent or parent-to-be is at PinkParentsUK which contains advice and articles covering all the main issues, links to other relevant sites and support groups, plus a helpline staffed by people with first-hand experience of gay parenthood. | |