If you are thinking of taking a well-earned holiday, are you heading for a refreshing break or restrictive straight-jacket? It can swing either way
on holiday with straight mates says Adrian Gillan in the second part of his gay
Who can predict the outcome of a venture abroad with straight mates?
For starters, it depends on whether those straight friends are male or female.
It's a different story altogether if you're venturing abroad with half a dozen
fag-hags or even - the latest gay male travelling trend - with your own mother!
The latter is the ultimate post-ironic fag-hag fad of a statement saying,
"I'm a big boy now and mum and I are first and foremost best of friends."
Obviously, much also depends on whether or not you are out to your straight mates.
If you aren't then it'll just be a case of grin and bare it I'm afraid, whilst
sneaking away furtively whenever you can. If you are, then, joy of joys, you'll
be faced with a plethora of opportunities - and a few threats.
Apart from anything else, male intimacy can be a queer thing between gays and straights.
You know the story. You're playing in your work's five-a-side team and then, time
for the showers. Either they chicken out and head straight for the pub - or you do.
They feel watched and you can feel a bit pervy. Unless your mates are all naturist
hippies, you may just have to be more discreet when changing Speedos at the hotel or water's edge.
IT'S A CULTURE THING
And once the novelty's worn off, gay bars can be a boring or embarrassing hassle
for truly straight guys - ditto for you and straight bars. Whatever else you and
your mates may have in common, it ain't this. It's a culture thing.
Unfortunately, being in the minority on your holiday, you may be the one biting
your tongue and sitting tight as your mind drifts to the gay bars and beaches
downtown. Your eyes latch onto a stray gay boy gang passing outside - lost between
bars - and you yearn to mingle, follow and mix with your own.
Whatever you do, don't suffer in silence - declare your rights and assert your wee
self. Drag some of your pals over to a gay bar on a couple of nights or negotiate
some time off for yourself. Each side has to be flexible and make the effort.
Naturally, the straight male mate holiday scenario also offers a wealth of opportunities.
WHEN THEY DROP THEIR TROUSERS
What's a boy to do if one of your straight male mates gets drunk, drops his guard
and then his trousers, especially if you haven't made yourself look completely unavailable
and happen to be sharing the same room? If you decline it might offend the fellow,
but if you oblige you'll have to deal with his undoubted embarrassment, or distance,
the morning after.
And why wait when you can be prime mover for such basic boyish needs?
With so much young, scantily-clad, chilled-out, hot male flesh on show, some poor
boy buddy's bound to appreciate a blob of your nice soothing cream for his cute
sun-sore hide. What are mates for if not for fast, on hand and far reaching relief?
The most important rule is to chose your target carefully: the most obvious swinger
in the group. You know the sort - strangely curious and so far from his girlfriend back home!
Of course, it can be hell if you have a crush on one of your mates, and despite -
over the years - practically thrusting yourself at the poor lad's loins, he goes
and strikes up a straight holiday romance in your very face or even brings a girl
back and shags her senseless in the same room: "Oh don't mind him babe - gay."
Unless he genuinely doesn't care he probably gets turned on by having you there,
so don't entirely give up. Hey ho.
We all know that straight guys - real men, after all, in our queer little minds -
can be a mighty fine turn on. And going on holiday with semi-naked ones you are
out to and at ease with, when they are at their most open and relaxed, can seem
like paradise, a dream come true.
PLAY IT COOL
But it's probably best to do your own thing and play it cool, whilst making yourself
vaguely available throughout and keeping an eye out for those opportunities. You
will at the very least strike up some serious straight male bonding and even -
stranger things have happened - help a straight mate astray.
More holiday advice from Adrian Gillan :
or Going It Alone.