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If you are thinking of taking a well-earned holiday, are you heading for a refreshing break or restrictive straight-jacket? It can swing either way on holiday with straight mates says Adrian Gillan in the second part of his gay travel trilogy.
Who can predict the outcome of a venture abroad with straight mates?

For starters, it depends on whether those straight friends are male or female. It's a different story altogether if you're venturing abroad with half a dozen fag-hags or even - the latest gay male travelling trend - with your own mother!

The latter is the ultimate post-ironic fag-hag fad of a statement saying, "I'm a big boy now and mum and I are first and foremost best of friends."

Obviously, much also depends on whether or not you are out to your straight mates. If you aren't then it'll just be a case of grin and bare it I'm afraid, whilst sneaking away furtively whenever you can. If you are, then, joy of joys, you'll be faced with a plethora of opportunities - and a few threats.

Apart from anything else, male intimacy can be a queer thing between gays and straights. You know the story. You're playing in your work's five-a-side team and then, time for the showers. Either they chicken out and head straight for the pub - or you do. They feel watched and you can feel a bit pervy. Unless your mates are all naturist hippies, you may just have to be more discreet when changing Speedos at the hotel or water's edge.

IT'S A CULTURE THING

And once the novelty's worn off, gay bars can be a boring or embarrassing hassle for truly straight guys - ditto for you and straight bars. Whatever else you and your mates may have in common, it ain't this. It's a culture thing.

Unfortunately, being in the minority on your holiday, you may be the one biting your tongue and sitting tight as your mind drifts to the gay bars and beaches downtown. Your eyes latch onto a stray gay boy gang passing outside - lost between bars - and you yearn to mingle, follow and mix with your own.

Whatever you do, don't suffer in silence - declare your rights and assert your wee self. Drag some of your pals over to a gay bar on a couple of nights or negotiate some time off for yourself. Each side has to be flexible and make the effort.

Naturally, the straight male mate holiday scenario also offers a wealth of opportunities.

WHEN THEY DROP THEIR TROUSERS

What's a boy to do if one of your straight male mates gets drunk, drops his guard and then his trousers, especially if you haven't made yourself look completely unavailable and happen to be sharing the same room? If you decline it might offend the fellow, but if you oblige you'll have to deal with his undoubted embarrassment, or distance, the morning after.
And why wait when you can be prime mover for such basic boyish needs? With so much young, scantily-clad, chilled-out, hot male flesh on show, some poor boy buddy's bound to appreciate a blob of your nice soothing cream for his cute sun-sore hide. What are mates for if not for fast, on hand and far reaching relief? Photo: Bobex-73
The most important rule is to chose your target carefully: the most obvious swinger in the group. You know the sort - strangely curious and so far from his girlfriend back home!

Of course, it can be hell if you have a crush on one of your mates, and despite - over the years - practically thrusting yourself at the poor lad's loins, he goes and strikes up a straight holiday romance in your very face or even brings a girl back and shags her senseless in the same room: "Oh don't mind him babe - gay." Unless he genuinely doesn't care he probably gets turned on by having you there, so don't entirely give up. Hey ho.

We all know that straight guys - real men, after all, in our queer little minds - can be a mighty fine turn on. And going on holiday with semi-naked ones you are out to and at ease with, when they are at their most open and relaxed, can seem like paradise, a dream come true.

PLAY IT COOL

But it's probably best to do your own thing and play it cool, whilst making yourself vaguely available throughout and keeping an eye out for those opportunities. You will at the very least strike up some serious straight male bonding and even - stranger things have happened - help a straight mate astray.


 
 
Festival Edinburgh
It's Scotland's beautiful capital and there's so much gay life to enjoy in August.
 
As we emerge from lockdown features a different gay man's holiday destination that you can visit here in the UK. Take a look at OutUK's OutGoing section for loads of holiday ideas for the gay man.

More holiday advice from Adrian Gillan :
Going Gay or Going It Alone.

 

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OutUK features the latest gay news, advice, entertainment and information together with gay guides to cities and holiday destinations around the UK, Europe and the rest of the world. There are hundreds of galleries of photos and videos of the sexiest gay guys plus intimate personal profiles of thousands of gay lads from all around the UK.