Iíve only recently lost my virginity. To put it politely, my cherryís been plucked. To put it bluntly, my arse has been well and truly fucked. And now I can't get enough writes Christopher Kelly. So what? After all, Iím hardly the first guy to have experienced the ecstasy of having it rammed up the jacksie. Thing is, Iíve been a bit slow to catch on. Iím 36. And itís not as if Iíve just discovered Iím gay. Iíve been getting it on with guys since I was a teenager. What Iíve been going through is more of a sexual metamorphosis.

You see, up until meeting my current boyfriend Iíd always thought of myself as a top. For some reason itís whatís been expected of me. Admittedly, a couple of guys have made a few feeble attempts to deflower me in the past, including one who used lard as lube (donít try that at home kids). But until last year, I had never before experienced a legs-in-the-air then taken-by-behind-and-grabbed-by-the-hair, butt thumping, arse-pounding, pillow biting, no-use-fighting full-on fuck.

I should have seen it coming. Within the first few weeks of our relationship my boyfriend asked me if I had any sexual fantasies. Having never been asked the question before I was surprised by my answer. ďNot reallyĒ, I replied. ďUnless you count the one about being gang-banged by a group of Russian soldiers.Ē

And there it was, out there. I had just admitted to having bottom tendencies. I can honestly say that up until that point I had been blissfully unaware of my desire to be shagged senseless.

All this activity has since made me realise that Iíd been suppressing the slut inside of me. I blame William Booth. A childhood spent in the Salvation Army does funny things to a boy.

I have to say I didnít take to being fucked straight away. Physically and mentally I found it difficult to relax at first. But slowly, as I learnt to lose my shame I began to loosen my arse. Nowadays my legs are in the air more often than Annabel Chongís.

Being a bottom is not just a position either. I agree with Dr Charles Silverstein writing in The New Joy Of Gay Sex, "It is..a state of mind, a feeling one has about oneself in relation to other men..it denotes wanting to be taken care of and to be directed by the top." But if you fancy seeing life from the other side of the fence, your pleasure centres have got to be wired right. As our Aaron Lawrence said in one of his OutUK columns, "Enjoying being a top is like enjoying being a bottom, rimming, eating strawberries, listening to Mozart, or enjoying Shakespeare. It is something that comes from within... the true enjoyment of it comes from the heart."

Since allowing myself to be pounded Iíve felt a more rounded sexual individual. It feels good to be able to give and take. But whilst I now consider myself to be versatile I know which side I prefer my bread to be buttered. Face down.


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